


Troy-and-Abed

by Lena_ms



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, Descriptions of a Panic Attack, I just love them okay?, Letters, M/M, also I haven't watched all of seasons 5 & 6 yet, but I couldn't resist, sorry for the cheesyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena_ms/pseuds/Lena_ms
Summary: Troy is somewhere out there, sailing across the ocean. Abed reaches out to him via a handwritten letter, despite the fact that he hasn't heard from him ever since he left.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Troy-and-Abed

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii. I'm just gonna make a quick disclaimer: this is my first work here and english isn't my first language either so please go easy on me haha.  
> Thank you and enjoy! (hopefully)

Dear Troy:

I’ve decided to do something with this feeling that’s been sticking with me ever since you left. I know that it wasn’t that long ago (overall) but something in my brain seems to be making me perceive time differently, it feels like a lot more has gone by.

I suppose you are wondering what kind of feeling that is, how it relates to you. Well, the answer is a little more complicated than my capabilities to express stuff in words, but I can try for you anyway. 

Ever since I’ve watched you get sailed on that boat, I couldn’t shake the thought that things were never going to be the same again, and I don’t want to be the cliché of the person who is so clingy that thinks that the world of someone else has to revolve around them exclusively, but truth be told; I felt like this kind of person everyday, for a pretty long time. I would wake up and spend the rest of the day acting like I’m not walking around with what someone in an over the top rom-com may describe as ‘a hole in my heart’. Truly, I’ve never been a fan of that type of movies, but now I can kind of get some of the meaning behind the cheesy words. 

Of course, I knew something like this was going to happen, it’s a normal emotional reaction caused by the withdrawal of a companionship that’s been going on for four years straight. That being said, I still couldn’t prepare myself for what it was going to be like when it actually happened. 

The first weeks, I’ve noticed now in retrospective, I completely ignored that annoying feeling of lacking something. I distracted myself by spending time with Rachel (my girlfriend, you’d like her), hanging out with our friends and pretending I wasn’t sensing the empty spot chasing us wherever we went out as a group, trying to make up for the lack of engagement with lame excuses. But everyone else did seem to notice what, at the time, I wasn’t. They pitied me, I was the one whose best friend had left for an indefinite amount of time, and as it went on, wasn’t seeming to come back anytime soon. So I pretended I was aware of it, that it was just a matter of time before I would move on and keep going with my life as normal. The truth is that I never actually came face to face with the fact that you weren’t there until a full semester went by. 

I just happened to run into Annie watching Kickpuncher III by herself, this makes me feel a little embarrassed but, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t watch those movies again; as fun as they were, they were fundamentally attached to memories that I wasn’t supposed to revisit. So when I arrived and saw that, I completely lost it. I froze for a good moment and then I just screamed, my heartbeat went up, I was sweating but at the same time felt really cold. I know you’ve witnessed most of my breakdowns, so you know what they’re normally like, but this time it was so much worse, it felt so much worse. Annie did what she could by herself but she eventually gave up and called 911, I didn’t want her to but I also didn’t have the strength to complain about it while I was feeling so out of control. I’m not gonna lie, it was one of the worst experiences I’ve had in my life (and I watched Twilight that one time for that bet). It took weeks to get the doctor that treated me out of my back, he kept insisting on getting me a therapist and a psychiatrist. It was so awful, Troy. 

But after that I made Annie promise that she would never tell anyone else about what happened that night. At that moment it seemed like such a strong season finale but no, I had to face the fact that life was still going. And so, the next day I went to school and did what I did everyday, control my physical image and make it seem like everything was normal, I participated in the usual hijinks but, and this is one clichè that I never thought I would ever pay homage to, it just didn’t feel like I was my normal self anymore. 

Thankfully, that ‘episode’ wasn’t a recurrent thing but I felt it’s threat to repeat itself all the time. It was one of the very few times in my life that I felt truly scared. 

Then another month went by, we still hadn’t heard from you, seven months since we said goodbye to each other. I was still trying hard to comprehend, to find the key to feeling normal again, the end goal, I realized much later, was to get over you. But how could one do such thing? At that moment, I devoured plenty of media involving two people who love each other having to stay far away from one another, but I got nothing from it, it seemed like this was a universal problem that didn’t have a solution to it. Well, except for all that crap of ‘you just have to find your own way to cope’, but it couldn’t be. There had to be an answer.

Luckily, I finally came to the conclusion, there was. 

I am reaching out to you, Troy. I know this sounds nuts but I trust you will find this letter, however it is, at whatever time. Because that is the thing that was missing in the equation, the people from the movies weren’t us. They weren’t Troy-and-Abed, the duo to end all pairings, no matter the nature of their dynamic, because that was the beautiful thing about us, we could work in whatever field we wanted to, we could morph our story into different genres, all without losing our essence. Because that is the ultimate core of our relationship. 

Our ability to transform has made it inevitable that one day, one of us would drift away from the other, but in reality, it doesn’t really matter; because I know that we are way too connected to each other to let this bond die. To let Troy-and-Abed be only a thing of the past to merely reflect on as one era of our lives. We both know we care too much, right? 

Dear Troy, I don’t know where you are, and I don’t know what is going to happen in our lives from here on, but if you are reading this then that act itself is proof that you and I will always find a way to come back to each other, no matter what. Because, and this is also something that I learnt while you were gone, we are more than friends, more than partners, more than lovers. We are us, you and me. Troy and Abed.   
And nothing and no one could ever take that away from us; even if this letter ends up all crumpled up and ultimately destroyed in a huge garbage fire, or recycled into some kid’s algebra homework, or disintegrated in the middle of the ocean to never reach someone’s hands...it will still be worth it.

I hope that if you are reading this, you’ll write back to me. You know where I am.

Always yours,  
Abed


End file.
